Anxiety in children can present differently than it does for adults and this can sometimes make it difficult to recognize when they might need support such as child therapy for anxiety. Children often don’t have the language to accurately express exactly what they are feeling, so instead of saying “I’m anxious”, they might say “I don’t want to go to school”.
It is for these reasons that it’s important for us as parents, caregivers, teachers and therapists to understand how anxiety manifests in young minds so we can approach them with understanding and support, and with strategies and the possibility of accessing child therapy.
Common Signs of Anxiety in Children
As children may not have the vocabulary to describe what they are feeling, we want to pay closer attention to the behavior they exhibit, which can be signs you have an anxious child and could use strategies and resources including child therapy:
- Physical indicators: headaches, stomach aches, and nausea. These concerns may come up more often when dropping them off at school, or before bedtime
- Avoidance: refusing to go to school, disinterest in social activities, and clinging onto parents/caregivers or other trusted loved ones when in new and/or unfamiliar settings
- Restlessness or fidgeting: challenges being able to sit still or trouble focusing on a task
- Irritability or meltdowns: built-up anxiety can become expressed in emotional outbursts, or frustration, especially in younger children
- Perfectionism: fear of making mistakes, pattern of erasing/re-doing homework, experiencing negative self-talk (“I am bad at this”, “No one likes me”)
- Sleep Issues: avoiding bedtime, trouble falling asleep, nightmares or frequently waking up during the night
We may tend to assume these behaviours are signs that our children are intentionally acting out when usually they are indicators of children trying to cope. When feelings become overwhelming, our nervous system can go into fight, flight or freeze mode, making these behaviours reflect our children’s way of trying to feel safe.
How to Help An Anxious Child
Anxiety is not something that needs to be “fixed”. When children show signs of anxiety, it’s an indication that they want to feel safe, and may need your support. Following these steps can help you meet your child with protection, understanding, and validation.
Name It to Tame It
- Listen to how your little one describes the way they are feeling – see if you can use it to offer a term that would help them to describe what is going on for them. If they aren’t using words, you can help to identify what you are observing and what it leaves you wondering about their experience being.
- For example you could try saying something like “It seems like your tummy hurts right before school, is school making you nervous?”
Validate Their Experience
- Empathize with them first, instead of trying to problem-solve right away
- Say something like “It makes sense you’re feeling nervous about school. Meeting new people can feel scary at first”
Practice Calmness Together
- Suggest some deep breathing, small movements, and grounding exercises, which can help children regulate their nervous system, and calm them in the present. Walk them through the following exercises:
- 444 Breathing: Count with them while they breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, and exhale for 4 seconds.
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- Pressure Movement: press palms together for a few seconds and release. This helps them regulate their senses, and grounds them in their bodies.
- Grounding: Cross your arms over your chest like you’re giving yourself a hug. Place fingers on your shoulders and take turns tapping your fingers on each shoulder. Repeat until they feel calmer
Create Predictability
- Anxiety in children often arises when there is uncertainty. Creating structured routines or providing visual schedules can give them a heads up about changes that can reduce anxiety triggers
Know When to Seek Support
- If the child’s experience of anxiety interferes with their daily life, like during school, bedtime, friendships or if it impacts their mood, it may be time to reach out for support from a child therapist for anxiety concerns who specializes in children’s mental health. Early support can make a huge difference.
Wrapping Up
Anxiety is a common experience for many of us, even for young ones. Support for children with anxiety can come in the form of empathy and curiosity, both of which gives children the space to open up about what they are feeling and can teach them ways to describe what it’s like in their own words. Over time, children will learn that all feelings are okay, and they have the resources and strengths to work through them.
